Some House Rules

  • Monday, July 19 2010 @ 09:24 pm UTC
  • Contributed by:
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Some House Rules Created By our Consultant Dog.

SOME HOUSE RULES FOR YOU AND YOUR DOG

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or
after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing
our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's
underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch
is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm under the coffee table

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately
drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and
lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with
him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a
good thing.

13. I will try and sleep on my side of your bed.

14. If I am good can I have my testicles back?